Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I'm sitting here frustrated and tired, yet I can't sleep.  I always seem to be waiting on tests results and doctors appointments these days.  You know that old saying "sick and tired of feeling sick and tired".  This has become the story of my life the last several years.  I feel like I'm somehow letting my family down because I'm not the same old person I used to be.  Every year it's been one thing after another.  It got to the point that I quit going to the doctor, they never had anything good to tell me anyway, so why bother.  My husband became so frustrated with me (I guess he didn't like my Ostrich approach to my health issues) that I agreed to go see the doctor.  Now about 5 different tests later, waiting on the results I still feel like my ignorance would have been bliss.  I don't know what approach to take anymore.  There is no cure for my one major health issue and the others resulted from chemo.  Now there are new problems and it sounds like another medication to take.  I hate medication!  I've changed my lifestyle so much that I thought that it would have helped.  It does appear that it has to some degree, but not enough.  I tell myself often that it could always be worse and that at least I am still here with my family and able to function (mostly) on a daily basis in some capacity.  The biggest frustration is I will feel so bad for several weeks (sometimes to the point of being bedridden) and then all of a sudden feel like my old self again.  Loads of energy, happy, feeling awesome and it usually lasts 2 to 3 days and then BAM!  Back to feeling like crud.  However, the biggest plus to this whole scenario is, I have an awesome husband and daughter and I am extremely blessed.  They have their faults, but they are always there for me.  I've learned tons about organic living and healthy cooking; to all our benefits!  So there are some good things out of this whole situation.  I wish all my friends and family good health and a happy life always.

Hugs,
Lisa Kay


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