It's Been A While

So there has been a ton going on since I last blogged, too much to talk about in one post.  Let's just say life got in the way for a while.  I'm back in the art room, learning to to paint and create jewelry, yay; and now I am working with a new music instructor Doug Redmond of TOL Studios in Greenwood, Indiana and he is currently teaching me piano and music writing.  He is a phenomenal instructor so if you are in the area and looking for someone, please check him out.

In the meantime, I've been rather creative and written a few poems, which I plan to share with you.  It has been awhile since I've written anything so I'm a bit rusty; however, I hope that you enjoy them. Whenever I am inspired I tend to write sad stuff.  I'm not sure why, it's just what moves me.  It's the same for the lyrics i write.

I Want To Write About You

I want to write about how you make me feel
How every time I see your face I know you're real
I can't describe the feelings you raise in me
I can't describe the wave of happiness you seem to bring
I want to write about it, I want to write about you

I want to write about the time we shared
How every time you said my name it sent shivers through me
I can't put into words the way you made me feel
I can't describe the reason I feel such joy when I talked to you
I want to write about it, I want to write about you

I want to write about us
How everything I felt was true and real
But I can no longer describe anything without you
I can't describe all the hopes and dreams I once had
How everything that was so perfect left in the flick of an eye

I want to write
But I can't explain how our plans changed
How badly I messed things up
I can't describe this sudden feeling I have to be by your side
How even though you’ve left me, I have to hide all that I feel inside

I want to write, but I can’t bring myself to describe what it meant
I want to write about you but I can't
I can't describe my feelings of loss and what it all cost
Or of my silent screams from the loss of  the lovely dreams with just you and me
But I want to-

Destruction of a Soul

When I first met you, you brought me such euphoria

When I first met you, you brought me such pleasure and joy

The thought of parting from you brought me pain

The thought of you no longer in my life makes me insane

Now you bring me nothing but hopelessness

Now you bring me nothing but self hatred

Now you bring me nothing but loathing and grief

Now you bring me nothing but loneliness with no relief

Do you know a life filled with pain and guilt?

A life surrounded by darkness and shame?

A life with nothing but shattered dreams?

A life with nothing to gain, and filled with silent screams?

Do you know of a place so cold and unseen, I do

Do you know of a place where nothing survives?

Do you know of a place filled with sorrow, no end in sight?

A place so dark there is no longer any light

Do you know of a life that should have never been,
And the feeling that today this life has to end.
One more day of sadness is much too hard to bear,
I am tired of living a life of heartache and despair.

Do you know a person with so much pain inside,
Or the feeling of loneliness when no one hears your cries,
Maybe when the tears are gone and I can clearly see,
The only question left will be...

DO YOU KNOW ME

Pushed Away

From the first time we spoke you made me feel better

You always make me feel as though I matter

When I was with you it was so easy to let myself go

When we’re together you always made me feel good, never low

So you can imagine how much it hurt when you tried to push me away

I felt so little and small begging you to let me be a part of your life and stay

You were the only one I ever opened up to and shared my inner feelings

And now that you have backed off and asked for space it has sent me reeling

The pain and hurt I am going through makes me wish I wasn’t sober

I don’t think I have the strength to get through this being over